I know what it’s like to feel unpretty. I grew up the ugly duckling in the family who was conveniently also ‘chubby’. i hate that word,especially when people use it to describe larger younger females of the 9-12 age group. ”Such a lovely smile,shame she’s chubby” .
” You can tell her parents give in to her snack demands.All that chocolate and MacDonalds are starting to show”
The thing is,most insecure girls hurry home to hide from the world and to feel safe . I didn’t have that small luxury. My very own source of inadequateness would be my mother.
Let’s be clear.She wasn’t abusive neither was she neglectful. In fact,she’s one of the coolest mothers i know.As is with most things that are too good to be true,my mother was no exception. All my friends saw was the cool,slim,stylish mother with great conversation skills and killer shoes .
She wasn’t their mom. They don’t know what it’s like to see their mom fit into a pair of skinny jeans better than they do. They don’t know how much it hurts to the very core of an impressionable 10 year old when a mum’s friend casually remarks ” Well haven’t you been eating well,sweetie ” (pats head of child excessively)
Fortunately,god heard my prayers at night and gave me amazing boobs and an above average face as puberty came and slowly made itself comfortable as I reached adulthood.
I admit i still have days when I wish my thighs were smaller or my teeth straighter. But on those days I just say fuck it and carry on with my day.