Firstly i feel obligated to say that I have never been the type to be needing a relationship .I’m content being single and the way things are going at the moment in my life, I wouldn’t think it would be fair to bring a clueless male in the midst of it all.
I’ve done the online dating thing but to be honest,it was just a distraction and I didn’t have any high hopes of pursuing a relationship through that medium.
And then I started speaking to A .He goes to the same uni as I do and convinced me that it’s a good thing when all I wanted was to hang out with a guy who wasn’t currently at uni to find some sort of balance.
I did tell him upfront how I’m in no position to be in a relationship and he is better off dating someone else. Well,I suppose most of you can guess that me saying all of this only led him to want to hang out with me even more. I suppose it’s the chase or however else its called.
I remember feeling the awkwardness in the car after a first date with people I meet online,but with A there’s none of that.We can talk about all sorts of random things and seem to agree on a whole lot of them as well. I actually enjoy heavy traffic when I’m with him because it means we get to talk longer. That’s a good sign,right?
He’s even been very caring and willing to listen to me talk about all of my problems.But we haven’t had ‘the talk’ yet if we’re ever going to. I don’t know how I will feel about it and what will we decide on .
I must admit I get jealous inside when he admits to talking to other girls on the dating website,in my head I imagine punching that ugly fat tramp he’s talking to even if my exterior is all cool calm and collected.I’m sure she’s a lovely person but I can’t help how jealous I get. I know I shouldn’t be jealous I have no right to be this insanely jealous because I was the one that clearly told him I’m in no position to be in a committed relationship.
I need a break from my own thoughts.